Welcome to Heavy Escorts.
Portland's finest provider of heavyweight escorts trained in martial arts.
Harassment? Next time bring along Heavy Escorts.
Asshole neighbor? Invite Heavy Escorts over for a barbecue.
Work problems? Let Heavy Escorts pick you up for lunch.
Want to feel important? Have Heavy Escorts follow you around.
Something else in mind? Contact Heavy Escorts today, and our customer service representatives will work with you to accommodate all of your business and personal needs.
Our numero uno policy is to make sure nobody gets hurt.
Aside from that, we are all grownups. Our beefcakes are all independent contractors and are free to make their own arrangements.
Hourly? Rent a few Heavy Escorts.
Retainer? Reserve your favorite Heavy Escorts.
One Time Only? Heavy Escorts don't care.
Heavy Escorts Lineup
Here are the heavy hitters currently available for engagements.
-
Bear
- Hometown
- Baton Rouge
- Fighting Style
- Judo
- Birth Sign
- Capricorn
- Experience
- 5 yrs
- Height
- 6'0
- Weight
- 320lbs
- Bio
- Bear is an avid watcher of General Hospital, and a certified scuba diver.
-
Chief
- Hometown
- Portland
- Fighting Style
- Pugilist
- Birth Sign
- Aries
- Experience
- 20 yrs
- Height
- 5'8
- Weight
- 220lbs
- Bio
- Chief is a health nut who keeps himself in shape by following the principles of Jack Lalanne.
-
Clutch
- Hometown
- Detroit
- Fighting Style
- Street
- Birth Sign
- Yield
- Experience
- Decades
- Height
- 6 foot
- Weight
- 240lbs
- Bio
- Clutch's best weapon is his patented stare and in his spare time he plays bass.
-
El' Bang
- Hometown
- Fresno, CA
- Fighting Style
- Karate
- Birth Sign
- Taurus
- Experience
- Over 6 years
- Height
- 5'6
- Weight
- 170
- Bio
- What El' Bang lacks in stature he makes up for in heart. Enjoys romantic comedies.
-
Magnum
- Hometown Seoul, Korea
- Fighting Style
- Brazilian Stick Fighting Champion
- Birth Sign
- Leo
- Experience
- 2 years
- Height
- 5'9"
- Weight
- 185
- Bio
- Son of diplomats, Magnum prefers to quietly talk things out but carries a big stick when negotiations fail.
-
Powder
- Hometown
- Indiana
- Fighting Style
- Wrestling
- Birth Sign
- Aquarius
- Experience
- < 1 year
- Height
- 6'4"
- Weight
- 320
- Bio
- Powder loves donuts, the environment, and making people feel safe.
-
Scorpion
- Hometown
- Unknown
- Fighting Style
- Dim Mak
- Birth Sign
- Unknown
- Experience
- Unknown
- Height
- 6'2"
- Weight
- 230lbs
- Bio
- Covert specialist Scorpion can blend into any crowd, and is working on a book about his life.
-
Sid
- Hometown
- Gresham, OR
- Fighting Style
- Pugilist
- Birth Sign
- Taurus
- Experience
- 20+
- Height
- 5'10
- Weight
- 190
- Bio
- Sid has always been a protector, and when he is not keeping you safe he is working on his classic Ford pickup.
-
Doc
- Hometown
- Boston
- Fighting Style
- Knives
- Birth Sign
- Aquarius
- Experience
- 20+ years
- Height
- 5'11
- Weight
- 235
- Bio
- Survivor of the Korean conflict, and prolific watercolor landscape artist.
-
Tiger
- Hometown
- Las Vegas
- Fighting Style
- Street
- Birth Sign
- Ares
- Experience
- 1 years
- Height
- 6'7
- Weight
- 330
- Bio
- Tiger earned his stripes with the coast guard, but left to become his mother's caretaker.
-
Colt
- Hometown
- Brady, Texas
- Fighting Style
- Fisticuffs
- Birth Sign
- Cancer
- Experience
- 14 years
- Height
- 6'3
- Weight
- 270
- Bio
- Once an aspiring country-western singer, Colt enjoys telling tall tales next to the campfire for the amusement of his friends.
-
Mr. Nice
- Hometown
- Seoul, Korea
- Fighting Style
- Motorcycle
- Birth Sign
- Recent
- Experience
- Not Much
- Height
- 4'4
- Weight
- 72
- Bio
- Always first to defend a woman's honor, despite his stature. His crotch rocket is never far away in case you need a quick getaway.
-
Timber!
- Hometown
- Vancouver, B.C.
- Fighting Style
- Viking
- Birth Sign
- Lumbersexual
- Experience
- 11 years
- Height
- 6'
- Weight
- 245
- Bio
- Timber is an outspoken advocate for sustainable foresting, yet he never hesitates to swing his big axe. His favorite artist is Pitbull.
-
El Máquina
- Hometown
- Unknown
- Fighting Style
- Luchador
- Birth Sign
- Unknown
- Experience
- Unknown
- Height
- 5'9
- Weight
- 200
- Bio
- Enshrouded in mystery, El Máquina does not like to talk about his past. He will, however, tell you all about his two new kittens.
-
COBOL
- Hometown
- Gainesville, TX
- Fighting Style
- Pants Pending
- Birth Sign
- Pisces
- Experience
- 40+ years
- Height
- 6'1
- Weight
- 220
- Bio
- The COBOL Cowboy is a 12 Gauge Handgun packing mainframe programmer who enjoys sharing aged bourbon and hot baths.
We are having technical difficulties with our reservation calendar. Please contact us directly.
You can reach Heavy Escorts 24 hours a day by emailing info@heavyescorts.com or calling (816) 298-8911.
If this is a life threatening emergency, please call 911 before you call Heavy Escorts.